* Sunday, December 28, 2003*

had my baptism today...
man... was it sucha special feelin..
duno how to put to words the whole event..
its so indescribable..
as i was shaking hand with e many ppl who congratulated me..
it was sucha special feelin..
a feelin i never felt before..

though its supposed to be born again feeling..
a time when my sins are washed away by e purity of e Lord..
a wholeness feelin..
i felt tht e way i've been livin my life...
is so not in e rightness of e way of God..

been tinkin alot tis few days..
feel a lil bothered by many tinks..in many ways..
lookin back wat i've been doin..
n wat i've done tis hols...
wat i've been like the pass year...
wat i've been like in my life till now..

i feel so indebted to e many people ard me..
all those who haf tolerated my behavior..
my senseless attitude..
my untolerable nonsense..
my craziness and unreasonableness..
its definitely a very unbecoming behavior i've gotta change..

to all those closer to me..
its almost a miracle people dun flareup at me..
felt quite miserable at times..
im reali a horrid dreadful person..

to all those i spent christmas eve with..
angela,bong,angeline,cand,wendy
i reali appreciate all of u there..
if u didnt noe..
Christmas is a very unique day to me..
to me its an excecptional day of e year..
dun ask me why..
but im totally love Christmas!!
i love christmas ever since i was a kid..
tink i still am..
but tis year it was different..
as i cldnt spend it wif my dearest dearest dear..
it was quite a huge dsappointment for me..
however u all made it gud for me..
made it reali memorable for me...
thx guys!!
dunno wat wld i do w/o tht day..
didnt noe how am i to live thru tht day..

i sure hope i didnt spoil it for u all..
im sori for uttering rubbish all nite then..
spouting nonsense all e time..
guess i wasnt tht drunk..
was quite awake n concious of was i was doin..
but its juz my emotion tht i cant control..
cant take it inside anymore..
become sorta cynical..
which explains wat i was like then..
a crazy lunatic..
come to tink of it..was kinda funni..
i sure made a fool of myself.. thts for sure..
im sori u guys hadta witness tht..
was sucha wreck..
im sori if i offended anyone of u..
sincerely sorry for evrytink..
hope i wasnt a pain to u all tht day...


well a new year is ahead..
i sure hope e best for evyone..
All e bez n haf a blessed year two 00 four!!
~tas

Tas_anne @ Sunday, December 28, 2003